The Choices Program

Helping Single Working Mothers With Dead Beat Dads

December 30, 2011

Filed under: Encouragement,Goals,Uncategorized — vjharris @ 5:31 pm
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In my business life, I write post and articles. As an end-of-the-year business encouragement post that I was writing I felt it also applied to us in our personal lives; many things in business does. So I decided to share it on the Choices Blog as well. Though its intended for business, while reading relate it to what you want to accomplish in your personal life.

We should always be striving for better, for ourselves but especially for our children. We are the example they should live by.  HAPPY NEW YEAR from my family to yours!!

Business Blog Post:  SUCCESS IN 2012!!

To be successful…be accountable. Be accountable to your brand, to your business, to your plan of action – your strategy. Know what you desire to accomplish not only in 2012 but simply in the next 2 weeks, the next month. Set goals, then tasks and a to-do list and then just do-it.  Small movement is better than no movement. Go for your dreams. They are obtainment, just plan for them : )

“From my business to your, wishing you great success in 2012 and forward…Happy New Year!!”

 

Saving Money – Use Less Gas July 31, 2011

Filed under: Parent & Finance — vjharris @ 9:02 pm
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As you know one of our goals is to find ways to assist single parent to save money in any way we can.  I reviewed an article about saving money on gas and figured I would pass it along. Hope it helps!!!

Ways to Use Less Gas (That Go Beyond the Obvious)

By , About.com Guide

Tired of hearing the same gas-saving tips over and over again? Here are some new ways to use less gas:

Skip the Drive-Thru

Sit in a drive-thru line, and you’ll burn gas. Park and walk into the store, and you’ll burn calories. Looks like parking wins.

 

Park Further Away

Circling is for sharks, vultures and people who don’t mind wasting gas. Give up the quest for the perfect parking spot, and settle for one at the back of the lot. You may have to walk a bit further to get to the store, but when did that become a bad thing?

Park in the Shade

A cooler car means less need for air conditioning and less gas evaporating from your tank. To save even more, invest in a shade for your windshield and tinting for the rest of your windows.

Hang Up and Drive

Talking on your cell phone while you drive makes you less aware of how you’re driving. You could be breaking every gas-saving rule out there and not even realize it.

Tighten that Gas Cap

A loose gas cap makes it easy for gas to evaporate from your car. Protect those precious gallons, by turning your cap until you hear it click three times.

Shop at Home

Free shipping deals are easy to come by these days. Find what you need online, and let your car spend more time in the driveway.

Check the Traffic Reports

The less time you spend sitting in traffic, the less gas you’ll need to get to your destination; so take a minute to check the traffic report before you head out.

Ditch the Attitude

Check your bad day at the car door. When you’re under the influence of a bad mood you’re likely drive faster and brake harder than you normally would.

 

Travel at Off-Peak Times

Idling in traffic is a big waste of gas and time. Bow out of the bumper to bumper madness by doing most of your running around before or after rush hour.

Streamline Your Vehicle

Engineers work hard to make cars as aerodynamic as possible, and then we do our best to undo their efforts. Bike racks, car top carriers, flags, giant wreaths – there’s no end to the things we’ll stick on our vehicles. Unfortunately, all those add ons add to our wind resistance and our gas consumption. Keep your mods to a minimum, and you could save big.

 

Ask for Directions

Getting lost stinks. Wasting gas on a bunch of wrong turns stinks even more. If you don’t have a GPS to get you on track, stop and ask for directions as soon as you can.

 

Don’t Tailgate

When you travel too close to the vehicle in front of you, you have to brake a lot more frequently, and that means more frequent trips to the gas station.

Don’t Lane Hop

Getting ahead of other cars may be what NASCAR is all about, but it’s not what regular driving is all about. Give all the lane changes a rest, and you won’t need to apply your foot to the accelerator and brake nearly as often.

 

Mom’s With Deadbeat Dad Booklet July 2, 2011

Filed under: Deadbeat Dads,Parent & Finance — vjharris @ 9:42 pm
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As we know the economy is tough on everyone, especially single parents. Its even harder for single working mothers who are not priviledged to the benefits from any government assistance. As in our previous post, that was the purpose for the creation of the booklet Mom’s with Deadbeat Dad’s. Its a collection of various resources, tips, companies and organizations that may help single working parents in different ways from financial to locating babysitters. We thought it we be great to have this type of information to assist single working mothers in one location and we update (add to) the booklet annually.

As an added benefit we’ve reduced the price to $7 (from $10)!! Our entire purpose is to make sure that single working mothers are getting the most for their money on all products…even ours : )

Take advantage while the savings last!!! Click here → Mom’s with Deadbeat Dads Booklet

 

Summer Fun & Fees! June 26, 2011

Of course summer is here and though depending on where you live kids get out of school different times; southern states late May, northern states late June.  So right about now (close to) all the kids are out of school. As the single working mother finding things for your child / children to do all summer can be very expensive.  As a single parent summer camp fees for me was laughable, overnight or just during the day. A while back I checked into the cost of the YMCA. I was shocked to find how expensive the membership fees are now.  As a young girl I remember that being an inexpensive option for lower income children. Well not anymore. I thought that was pretty sad. As a single parent I just couldn’t afford a membership that literally cost hundreds to start and then a monthly fee to continue!!

So I just wanted to send a quick post to remind parents to remember the old favorites of public parks and some of the perks the parks may offer. Some of the parks in my local area offer plays and movies on certain days. Some have pools that are open during certain times. Of course I suggest you attend with your child regardless of his or her age. Public library’s can offer various activities as well and are free, like puppet shows and story telling, depending on the age of your children. And of course in my house I keep alive the use of old school board games, playing cards, and movie nights …things that don’t cost a dime but offer great time together and great memories. I would also encourage parents (depending on neighborhoods) to encourage your children to get outside and play. Something I grew up with that we just don’t see enough of anymore. Think of things that are right in your neighborhood that may not be as expensive. Most counties/areas have a website that will give you information on local events, which a lot of times are not a pricey as others.

Well I hope you and your children have an amazing summer filled with fun, a lot of laughter and great memories..together.

Of course I will continue to bring you thought and relevant tips that prayfully are helpful : )

 

Don’t forget you purchase the Mom’s With Deadbeat Dads Booklet for listed resources to help save money!

 

All Lessons Old & New Start With You June 16, 2011

Filed under: Deadbeat Dads,Raising Children — vjharris @ 10:44 pm
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As single mothers there are so many challenges we face. So many obscales to either defeat or romove. And all the while remaining intact, functioning, seemingly uneffected and always pleasantly ready for the next day. If we’ve done our job correctly if our beautiful children are none the wiser of these challenges.

It is so crucially important that children stay just that…children. That begins with us. Our choices in men, their fathers, was just that…our choices. We now have to put on our big girl panties and brave the new days of life without that individual (some deadbeats) and make the best of a situation we, at minimum, co-signed.  I say this to say, that in most cases the only true victim (100%) is the children. And that is where the focus should always stay. Now I am not saying that we as woman don’t get a really bad deal. Believe me I did. But I chose my pathetic ex-husband and I have to now live with that bad choice. Like every other bad choice we make in life, but my children didn’t choose their father. I may have been victimized (even just emotionally) in some ways but I won’t play the victim. I will own my mistakes, my choices (good and bad). I will review those choices and learn from them, especially the bad ones, with the intention to make better ones in the future.

Who we are, what we become, who our children see, what they see in us, determines (or at minimum effects) who they become. I sometimes don’t think mothers understand just how powerful a role we play in our children lives. We are literally molding innocent little humans. They are so frail and fragile. I use the analogy of creating (molding) pottery; when children are young its like when you first start molding pottery you can form the pottery any way you choose, but once its set (matured) you can’t bend or mold it…once a child is older you can’t undo or redo what we should have taught or un-teach things we shouldn’t have taught. So its crucial to be alert to the type of messages we are sending our little ones now, even the unconscious messages and lessons. Sometimes those are the loudest.

Just keep in mind all lessons old and new start with you.

 

Mom’s with Deadbeat Dads February 7, 2011

Parenting is difficult enough, there’s no hand book or instructions. We have our children and pray we do a good job raising them. Being a single parent is a hard job even with an ex-partner who is just as concerned about raising your children and is a willing, present participant. But imagine having a physically, emotionally and financially absent parent. That’s not only difficult on the custodial parent but its life-changing to our children. I truly don’t believe deadbeat dads realize the emotional damage they cause, or at least I would like to think they must not realize it because it allows me to think this behave would not continue. I will also go on record to say I do realize there are also deadbeat mom’s out there too. They are just as shameful.

When doing research I realized that though there are multiple programs for no-income to low-income single parents there are no programs (that I could locate) for sinlge working mothers. So I decided create a booklet titled Mom’s with Deadbeat Dads [MD's] that listed organizations that could help single working mothers during their time of need and/or save them money. The booklet also includes tips, resource and articles that not only helps the parent but the children too.

For more information review the “booklet” page in the upper right hand corner of this page or go straight to www.pathfindersbr.org/choices_

 

Great information for only $10

 

Ways To Save Money – Banking Fees December 28, 2010

Filed under: Parent & Finance,Uncategorized — vjharris @ 10:08 pm
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You read it everywhere, we are all going through it…a tough economy. We all have to find ways to save money, especially single parents (and especially those with deadbeat dads). So we are trying to bring a few extra ideas to you to save money as we come across them. One we’ve come across recently is banking fees. Listed below are some ideas that may help. Post comments if you have more : )

1. Request Fee Schedules. Ask your bank for an updated copy of your bank’s fee schedule. Call a customer service representative and discuss each fee and how it affects your account. Make sure there are no fees that negativitely affects your account and if there are ask to speak with an analyst to find ways to possibly avoid some of those fees. There are simple ways like doing business online and choosing online statements that can save you a few dollars and/or cut out a few fees. It doesn’t hurt to ask.

2. Review Your Relationship With Your Bank. If you have a long standing relationship with your bank you may be able to get good incentives to continue doing business with them. If you do not have a long relationship, you may want to review cheaper ways of doing business with your bank like how to have a free checking account, get free checks, etc. See what they have free or at least inexpensive. See if its worth it to you to alter your account. Make sure it benefits you in the long run.

3. Read Everything From Your Bank. Read all disclosures and correspondence from your bank. Be informed when things are going to change at your bank. Be informed on what needs to be done in order to lower certain fees so that you can take advantage of those perks. Read your statements (hardcopy or online) to make sure that you are not being over charged or inappropriately charged for any fees or services. If you don’t understand the verbiage, contact a bank representative to explain it to you.

4. Use Good Customer Standing. If you have been a good standing customer and you get an overdraft fee, call and ask for it to be waived. Believe it or not many banks will waive an overdraft fee for a loyal customer who doesnt make a habit of overdrafting and has a decent history with the bank. And of course its in their best interest to keep you as a customer.

I hope some of these ideas help. Singularly none of these ideas will put a mint in your bank account but with a collection of dollar saving tips that turn into habits I am hoping we all can make a difference in our financial lives.

Talk with you soon.

Valarie

 

Our Kids Get Stressed Too! October 6, 2010

Filed under: Encouragement,Raising Children — vjharris @ 1:22 am
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TEN  SOURCES OF STRESS FOR KIDS

 

The kids of today seem to deal with so much more than I ever did as a child. I didn’t grow up in a well-off family and that’s stressful all by itself but if you add in the challenges the children of today face its no surprise our children are probably just as stressed as the adults. And that’s sad and scary.

Listed below are ten reasons kids are stressed:

(side bar: this is just ten, I am sure there are many more, but this will get you thinking)

1. Parents having problems (personal or financial – stress on parents show)

2. Being bullied

3. Parent getting remarried

4. Thinking a teacher doesn’t like them

5. Not having enough money for their  needs

6. Moving to a new school

7. Peer pressure (negative and positive)

8. Saying no to drugs

9. Being popular

10. Fighting with a friend or sibling

I believe this topic is so important, critical, because I think as adults we don’t think enough about how stressed our own children can be. Its a known fact that stress has a negative effect. Imagine being a child with that kind of pressure or concern. We have a hard enough time dealing with stress as adults. I really can’t imagine what a child feels. Again, this is a different time and I think as parents we think about how things were when we were children and compare our child to that. Unfortunately, looking at today’s communities, we really have nothing to compare to. So I am an advocate to parents taking this into consideration and supporting our children with this stress in mind.

 

Be the Change You Want to See In the World December 28, 2009

Filed under: Goals — vjharris @ 9:57 pm
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Be the change you want to see in the world,  quote by Ghandi.  That one sentence says a lot. I think many people complain about changes they want to see but a very small percentage of that group actually works towards making those changes happen. With this post I am encouraging all of our readers to step up and work towards changing some of the issues within our local community for positive changes. Not only does your participation produce great positive changes for the community it also creates you to be a proud community advocate which affects many others but it also teaches your children conscious and unconscious lessons. It teaches them the value of offering their time and the importance of addressing issues but it also continues to show you as the role model in their life. Being that change in the world can also be directed to your home. Think of positive changes you need within your home or you’re routine to accomplish some of the goals you and your family have set. Keep in mind small changes can accumulate to larger changes so don’t feel overwhelmed to deal with large tasks immediately upfront, you can start small. The key is to start and to make positive changes for you , your family and your community. It always starts with one.

 

Know Where Your Money Is. Control Electronic Spending October 8, 2009

Filed under: Parent & Finance — vjharris @ 1:05 am
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Debit cards, credit cards, and e-checks make it easy to overspend — way too easy. Our experts explain how you can cut costs by being more vigilant about your virtual dollars.

Keep Tabs on Spending

They’re quick and painless — and there’s no writer’s cramp or envelopes to lick. Electronic payments using credit cards, debit cards, or e-checks are more popular than ever, accounting for more than half of consumer spending. But convenience comes with a downside. “When you use cash or checks, you know the money is finite,” says Mike Peterson, cofounder of the American Credit Foundation and author of Reality Millionaire: Proven Tips to Retire Rich (Reality Media). “Electronic payments take away that tangible feeling of spending, so it’s harder to keep a lid on expenses,” he adds. This out-of-sight, out-of-mind mentality isn’t lost on credit-card companies and banks, which are experts at raising rates or sneaking in fees and extra charges when you’re not looking. But while rising costs are eating up more of your hard-earned dollars, you can get a tighter grip on spending, whether it’s plastic, online, or both.

Avoid monthly-statement shock.

View your credit-card charges online weekly or biweekly to keep better track of your balance, which will give you the opportunity to pull back if you’re spending too much. Another plus: “You’ll catch any fraudulent charges to your card more quickly,” says Bob Sullivan, author of Gotcha Capitalism: How Hidden Fees Rip You Off Every Day — and What You Can Do About It (Ballantine). Go to your credit-card company’s Web site, find the personal accounts area, and use your card number to establish an online account. You can’t do this with debit cards, so unless you log that spending in a ledger, you won’t know how much money is left. For a heads-up on your debit-card balance, ask your bank to automatically send you an e-mail when your funds drop below a certain point. “A good buffer is at least $200,” says Emily Davidson, who writes about personal finance at CreditBloggers.com.

Managing Finances Be an early bird.

If you pay your credit-card balance online, send the money at least two business days before it’s due. Banks have their own schedules for downloading payments and if they receive them even a few seconds late, they shift the transaction to the next business day. “There could be a lag between when the bank receives your e-mail and when that information is passed along to the credit-card company,” says Peterson. Either way, your payment could be tardy even if you hit the “submit” button on time, and you could be charged a $25 to $35 late fee, plus interest on the unpaid balance. “Building in a 48-hour buffer ensures your money will arrive on time,” he says.

Read the fine print.

Open all mail from creditors like utilities and insurance companies and anyone else you’ve authorized to make automatic deductions from your bank account. What looks like junk might be notice of a lost or late payment that could generate fees and lower your credit rating, says Davidson. Call customer service right away to clear up any confusion, and a rep will likely update your account and waive the fee immediately.

Fill in the blanks.

When sending e-checks, don’t use the feature that automatically fills in the amount of your last remittance. If that figure is lower than your current balance and you forget to change it, you could get stuck with a penalty. This is especially true with large deductions that tap your account once or twice a year, such as home insurance. Always review online checks before sending, then go back a few days later to make sure the payments went through. “If not, call your creditors immediately,” says Peterson. “Most are willing to make a one-time adjustment for an understandable mistake.”

Manage by merging.

Free online services like Mint.com link your credit card and bank accounts, and give you an updated balance and spending report daily. Iexpenseonline.com also tracks your spending in budget categories like food, utilities, and transportation, but you have to input your purchases into the program. For about a $100 annual fee, Mvelopes.com not only merges your accounts but also makes deductions from the appropriate budget column each time you make a purchase.

Credit Cards Know when to hold… Resist the temptation to open store accounts so you can save 10 or 15 percent on purchases that day. You will you spend more to take advantage of the deal, and you’ll trigger an inquiry into your credit history. Though standard procedure, any inquiry can cause doubts about your creditworthiness among other lenders, all of whom have access to your credit. As a result, opening a new card can drag down your credit rating and raise rates by 2 to 3 percent for more important debt like a future mortgage or car loan. If you must open a new card, scan the agreement for the words “universal default,” which means that any problem with one card, like a late payment or error, is reported to all your creditors and can trigger across-the-board interest-rate hikes that could cost you hundreds of dollars a year. Call the company and ask to have the default provision taken off your account. If it refuses, find another that will honor your request.

…and when to fold.Don’t close cards you already have unless you’re being charged an annual fee. This can also hurt your credit rating by lowering the grand total of spending limits allowed on all your cards, making you look like a worse risk.

Cash Is Your Friend These days more people are flexing plastic to make payments of as little as $2 for things like coffee, newspapers, and parking fees. But all those mini-charges on your credit or debit cards quickly add up. Peterson recommends budgeting a certain amount of pocket cash per month and committing to spending only what you carry for small purchases. That will also help you curb impulse buys and save anywhere from $200 to $300 a month.

How much should you allow yourself? Peterson suggests keeping a “spending journal” for a week in which you scribble down the cost of all incidentals, then reviewing it to see what to cut. Budget wisely, but don’t let it rule your life. “Budgeting is like dieting — the stricter the diet, the harder it is to adhere to, and you might wind up gorging yourself on junk food in a fit of weakness,” he says. “Allow for some give so you feel that you have breathing room.”

Why do we buy less when using cash?Your brain says “ouch.” When you fork over a few bills and see your thinner wallet, the insular cortex, a region that registers negative emotions, becomes more active than when you use a credit card.

Originally published in the March 2009 issue of Family Circle magazine.

 

 
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